Monday Meanderings
It is way past morning, but it is Monday. I am at sock camp this week, and I am glad to get away from work and my regular responsibilities, even if it is for a short period of time. I definitely needed a break from the day to day workings of my life.
This weekend I found myself pondering aspect of parenthood that they cannot teach you childbirth class. They don't tell you that along side the moments of intense pride and sheer joy of parenthood, that there will be moments of shear frustration and terror. Not just the terror of the decisions that your child will make, but the terror of your own feelings of ineptitude and frustrations that are a direct result of your offspring's actions. Especially when the intent of their actions is totally counterpoint to the results of their decisions.
And since that particular woman/child is barely embarking on those teen age years, I suspect that we are in for a long haul. I can not seem to speak in any sort of language that she can understand, nor do I seem to be able to take a step back and temper some of my reactions. I think that at this point it will be a miracle if we can make it through these turbulent teens relatively unscathed.
I am rapidly discovering that you cannot totally protect your child from the unintended cruelness of other children. Shannon has been going to practice every day despite her broken arm. She has also been going to the meets to cheer on her team mates even though she is not competing. I fail to understand how a fellow team mate could tell her that she didn't understand the point of Shannon being there, after all she wasn't able to compete.
Somehow I think that this other child totally misses the point of team work.
Comments
A toast to the parent who raised a child who does understand the spirit of being part of a team, and makes the time as a parent to support that child in demonstrating her commitment to the team. You may wonder what the heck you are doing when it comes to parenting teens (trust me I know) but stay the course because clearly you are doing a great job.
Posted by: loren | April 14, 2008 07:24 PM
I don't know if you are going to get this before you get back from sock camp or not, but I am just stopping in to say that I love you, and that I really hope that you have fun. Missing you already!
Posted by: Fiona | April 14, 2008 09:54 PM
oh, goodness...sounds like you NEED the knitting time!
It is so hard to reassure our kids when they ARE doing the right and honorable thing, that the comments from their peers (who speak their language) are just.plain.wrong.
Hang in there!
Can't wait to see pitchers of sock camp!
xoxo
Posted by: greta | April 15, 2008 03:13 AM
Oh yes, I remember all this and understand your angst. However...take as much as you can with a grain of salt...You WILL make it through...and so will She.
She's awesome and growing so much. She KNOWS what right is and she's displaying that.
Wonder where she got that from ;)
Posted by: Sheila E | April 15, 2008 08:07 AM
I think it's sometimes hard to stand by and watch. You know your kid (or friend, or partner) is going to get hurt, frightened, rejected out there in the world, and there's nothing you can do about it. People tell me it's about letting go, and perhaps it is. Maybe it's also about trying to lessen the pain of empathy while you watch it happen?
Enjoy sock camp. You definitely deserve a break with some friends!
Posted by: Joanne | April 15, 2008 09:01 AM
I am sorry about the hurtful remark. It is hard to stand back, let go..all of those things when it comes to our children. We do so want to protect them and we probably want control over almost everything in their lives.
It just doesn't work that way. She will be fine. There well may be rough times (I certainly remember them!) but, you'll both get through them and before you know it, you'll be looking at this beautiful young woman and marveling at all she is, and being in her presence will fill you with joy and wonder.
Have a restful and FUN time at sock camp!!
Posted by: ellen kelley | April 15, 2008 09:35 AM
Oh, I understand. It is such a challenge when there are kids (so many kids) who do not understand 'team' and 'support' and 'loyalty.' One of the girls on my oldest daughters volleyball team egged the house of a teammate. Not a 'team' act. Winning is nice, but winning without regard to the cost is not ok, and too many of our kids are only doing things for winning. It is a bit scary out there.
Posted by: picadrienne | April 15, 2008 10:20 AM
You know, Kaela's only 7 turning 17 and I am NOT looking forward to her teenage years. I remember what I put my Mum through...thinking of you.
Posted by: Donyale | April 15, 2008 03:34 PM
Sounds to me like her teammate is someone uncertain enough of herself (and they all are at that age) not to be able to understand why someone would turn out to cheer, specifically, for her. So she took out that insecurity on your daughter.
Hang in there. This stage of their lives is for teaching us patience. And they do. Bigtime!
Posted by: AlisonH | April 15, 2008 10:16 PM