And yet, still weirdness abounds on the taekwondo front. I got a call last night from another team parent because there are weird rumors floating around and they wanted to know the truth. It seems that there is a rumor going around that Harley will not be on the team next season and I have already talked to Robert about it. Harley is considering going to Yi Sport next season. And in addition, my kids will no longer be taking classes at the dojang. (I found this one particularly amusing since my kids resumed classes a week after we returned from our vacation.)
That was all news to me. As far as I knew, Harley hadn't decided whether she could put up with the crappy attitudes and mean spirited behavior for another year. We hadn't talked about it. The season is supposedly out until September, but I heard there was a practice last Saturday. We couldn't have gone anyway, because we were hanging with more out of state relatives - this time from my side of the family.
I really must be in one hell of a fog. I really don't remember ever having that conversation with Robert. 
Maybe I suffer from multiple personality disorder and one of my alters chatted with him. There are only a couple of people who were told that HK might not be back next season. And unless HK was talking to some of her friends, I don't know who started spreading the Yi Sport thing. I know Harley had been tossing the idea around and had even been invited to join by one of her friends on that team. Months ago, Harley remarked to me that Yi Sport kids treated her better than most of the kids on her own team. They hang out with her at tournaments when they see that the RTA clique blows her off. Hmmmmm. Maybe Yi Sport isn't a bad idea. I ought to thank the Rumor Mill for the great idea, lol! I am sort of surprised to be the subject of rumor. HK asked if I was mad at all about it. It hadn't occurred to me to be angry. I thought it was all quite hilarious.
After all of last year's drama, Nathan is all for her taking the year off competing completely. HK and I may be able to change his mind, but I don't know. He may be on to something. HK loves competing, but after so frequently coming home upset at crappy, catty comments made to her during practices/tournaments, I understand why she hated going to practice for a sport she loves so much. I am inclined to agree with Nathan if getting her to go to practice is as difficult as it was last season.
The other parent I talked to last night vented some concerns and frustrations that completely mirrored what our family had been feeling this past year. It reassured me that maybe I wasn't losing my gourd. Maybe my frustrations were founded in something that was real and not of my imagination. But I really was shocked to hear everything from them that I previously felt was only in my own head. Not so. Not at all so. Apparently the same is felt by a few families on the team. I had no idea.
Robert Is a good man. He's just an all around great guy. He's an amazing athlete and his skill is incredible. But it just doesn't seem to be in his nature to demand the same quality of personal behavior as he does with their physical performance. Many of the parents overlook the behavior that goes on within the team. The few of us parents that see stuff go on and have voiced our concerns have seen that at the end of it all, a lecture is given, excuses are made and nothing fundamental changes. The "alpha personalities" still run roughshod over the easygoing kids and mob mentality reigns supreme when the adults aren't looking. There is very little respect for teammates. Very little unity or encouragement. The "Black Belt Attitude" is gone.
It's sad. I miss how the team was a couple of years ago. Harley says she misses it. Other families I have talked with miss it too. We used to hang out together and feel like a family. Now it is drama, backbiting and rumor. The kids aren't performing as well either, unfortunately. We aren't a team anymore. At least not an all-inclusive one.
~ ~ ~
"By justice a leader gives their team stability, but one who is greedy tears down the team's confidence."
Stability is the foundation of focus. Tear down stability and your team will never hit the zone. Being fair and honest to those that serve with you or under you is not just the moral thing to do; it is a prosperous thing to do as well.
Very few success stories are accomplished by a single individual working alone. It is our awareness of the talents and gifts around us that gives us the right to call the people around us a team. As a high school soccer coach I have seen teams with less talent beat teams with great talents on a regular basis. Why? Not because talent doesn't mean anything, but talent mixed with greed creates instability. Raise the respect level in your company or team and watch for the magic that will begin to happen.
~Mike Conaway
