Dirty Little Secret
Well, since I am actually feeling almost human again today, I think I can actually write something a little more meaningful than "I knit my scarf, my nose is stuffy and I slept all day."
I have a secret. Well, it's not totally a secret, but not many people are aware of it. I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing. It's not that I am ashamed of it, but in today's society, it is frowned upon in polite company. Okay, here goes.
I am a Bible believing Christian.
Yup, I said it. It's true. It's been true since I was about 10, though I went through periods of doubt. It's been a strange ride for me. Sometimes it's been pure joy, sometimes it's been the only thing keeping me alive (quite literally) and other times it's been hell. It's not that I am ashamed of it, I just really suck at relating to people face to face. This handy dandy keyboard interface thingy is much more comfortable for me. My brain has a nasty habit of wandering around on any tangent that may happen by. It does not make for effective witnessing to non-believers, lol. I am often teased (lovingly?) by friends and family for carrying on the most disjointed conversations.
Oooh. Reel her back in. As I was saying, not so much ashamed as just seriously hating political and religious discussions of any kind around most of my family. As a matter of fact, between my husband and I, we have a whole slew of family members who range from indifferent to extremely hostile toward people who are Christians. Buddists, Muslims and garden variety pagans are welcomed warmly. Christian? Yeah, not so much.
But me? I suppose it all began when I was very small, and my mother used to sing Bible songs with me and talk to me about God. She used to teach Sunday school, and attend Christian summer camp from what she told me. Then she married my father, had me and things seemed to go down hill for her spiritual life after that. If I remember correctly, my father didn't really even allow us to go to church on Sundays. My mother finagled Sunday school for me by having her cousin Michael, and later my father's brother Jesse each drive miles out of their way to pick me up and take me to church with them. And I will be forever thankful that they did.
So what do I believe? I believe in Jesus death as the perfect sacrifice (because as a rule, people suck - um, I suppose that should be sin), His resurrection, and the Trinity. But more simply, I have a relationship with God by grace alone, through faith alone. No buying or working my way into heaven, no praying to saints or bowing to popes. But I also do not beat people with my Bible or hate you if you are gay, transgendered a smoker, drinker or Democrat. Anyone with a brain can see that Republicans and Democrats are nothing but different halves of the same stupid political party. Elections are rigged anyway. Really.
So to believe what I do, I must be feeble minded, codependent, dim or otherwise impaired, right? Nope. Not even close. All the tests showed quite the opposite, really. The more I learned about math and science, the firmer my belief became. Everything just proved God's existence even more. (And now that quantum physics is being studied more, it's even more fascinating!) But that's another story for later.
But no matter what your faith, you just gotta love Cheesus.
