Drops Jacket in Fabel. I used Stahl Baby Merino that I bought from Elann. I wove in the ends, but I need buttons. I also need to make something like a hat or booties or leg warmers or something to go with it.

So I am still around. Not blogging or reading blogs much at all. I will try to catch up with people later. I am just finding that right now I need a break. I don't know why. I just do. Same funk as before? Maybe. I still can't figure it out.

I do wish everyone well. (If anyone still read this at all anymore. I don't blame you if you don't.)

So here. You get a photo of gum in the shower.

I hope you had fun. I did. I love you, baby girl!

Harley being goofy:

Nani wishing to go out on a walk:

Neko being an alien-wannabe:

Guppy, Harley, Kassie and Lexa in Seattle by the piers:

The girls each had a quarter that they brought from home to spend while in town. We walked past the Boot People, hand in hand, and Kassie started to slow down and look back over her shoulder. She asked "Are they collecting for breast cancer?" I said yes, that is what they were collecting for.

Kassie asked "Can we go back so I can give them my quarter? My teacher is a breast cancer survivor." I waited as both girls dropped their quarters in the boot. The people saw that 6 and 7 year old girls were donating and they just beamed and thanked the girls profusely. Kassie and Lexa just grinned.

As we were walking away I said "You know, Auntie Weebug is a breast cancer survivor, too." Kassie said "REALLY? Wow. I didn't know that. Well, then I'd really rather donate my quarter than spend it."

And congrats to Weebug for nine years of cancer-free living. Happy anniversary, Marti.

Here's the poomse part:

And here is her board break:

Savage Chickens is one of my favorite cartoons. I also have a weird love for squid. It's a happy day for me when the two come together. The odd thing is that this cartoon prompted me to but a rather large bag of Reese's Pieces, lol.

And we have Nathan's Christmas 2008 socks that I have been knitting since the end of June. Yeah, I am a wee bit behind. It's the Escalator Sock pattern from Penguin Purls.

I guess I'll get back into this knitting and blogging thing again. Life seems to be easing its stranglehold on me these days. I hope it continues to improve, because I am finally starting to feel human again. Heck, I am finally starting to feel again. And that right there is progress.

She said "Mama, you know how you always put someone in charge whenever you and Daddy go out? Last time it was Kassie. Next time can it be me?" You see, when we go out, the child in charge writes up a mini status report and lets us know who was good, who was bad, who fought, etc. They also get to mediate any arguments that may arise.

I said "Sure. It can be your turn next. But remember that the oldest brother or sister is always in charge of safety - like if someone gets hurt or the house catches on fire."

So Lexa looks thoughtful for a moment and replies with "Mama, if the house catches on fire, Harley or Chace can be in charge. But before I get out of the house I will try to grab a big piece of cardboard so I can write 'homeless' on it. Okay?"

And here's HK's cat Neko, enjoying the new patio furniture we bought a few days ago. The weather has been so nice, we have been eating dinner out on the deck pretty much every night. I love our backyard. It was one of the major reasons we really wanted this house. It was even worth the icky traffic driving up and down our street all the time.

And what was for dinner tonight? Sushi, of course. And gyoza (the potsticker kind), but no photo. That was our second course.

Lookie what I found! It is HK and Fee at about age 6. Can you believe this was from almost 10 years ago?

I have been cleaning out my computer/crafty room the last couple of days, so I have been finding all kinds of cool things I forgot I had. Mostly photos and books, but it's been kind of fun - for cleaning anyway. My room is so cluttered with unpacked boxes that I can't even vacuum in here. And the dog and cat hang out with me in here almost every day, so it is really in need of the vacuum cleaner.

My house has been a mess since the kids have been home for summer. They don't seem to get the concept of cleaning up after themselves. And I came down with a cold last Sunday, so I have been dragging a bit. The up side of the ibuprofen and cold medicine is that I am like a cracked out Martha Stewart. Well, almost. Cracked out and on a reorganization mission, but sans Martha style.

I am slowly snapping out of my funk, though most nights I still wake up with anxiety attacks. They are getting better, and right now I am thankful for any kind of improvement I can get. :-)

So I flew to CA with my brother and sister. My mom, stepdad and 2 youngest brothers drove down. I stayed with my father and his family for a few days. It was nice to see him and his side of the family. But it was also weird to see these people I hadn't seen in like 12 years. But I suppose that is another story. The service and lunch were lovely. But thinking about it makes me cry every time and i am at work now and don't want to start blubbering.

So here I am. I don't quite know what to do with myself. I am finding it hard to enjoy my life these days. I still knit, but it isn't enjoyable like it used to be. Most often, I knit to finish up things I need to do for gifts, or to keep my hands busy while I am waiting for the kids during taekwondo or other appointments. I started another project - the Pop Rock sweater for Kassie. It's irritating me. It's not the pattern or the yarn's fault. It's just me. I haven't wanted to spin or tat or weave or anything.

Blogging? Yeah. Haven't seen me do much of that lately. Photography? "I suck at it anyway, so why bother?" Kids? They are messy, demanding, spoiled, etc. But they have their moments. There have been a few times where they make everything all better. If only those moments lasted…

See? A funk. A depression. Whatever you want to call it, it sucks. It's not made any easier by my lame job or my lazy, messy children. Or my stupid, broken brain that can't figure out which way is up. My brain makes my body ache and my head feel foggy and tired. My brain makes me want to sleep far more than is normal. So I struggle with reminding myself that all things considered, I really have it pretty good. I have a job that pays fairly well and offers flexibility, though I do not enjoy it at all anymore. I have kids who are happy and healthy. My husband still has a job. We can afford food, clothing, shelter, and even some extras. We do not have any recurring monthly credit card debt. Our cars are paid off. My parents are alive and in fairly good health. Life is good.

So how long till my broken brain catches on to my good fortune?

Finally, the kids are dressed and start eating. I get changed and start trying to get myself together to head off to the bus. The Murg rolls over and says "I think I am sick. Can you get the kids to school?" Um, I guess I have to. It is now 7:36 and they need to leave in 10 minutes. And I am nowhere near ready for work. And the last bus to work leaves at 8:08.

So I start rushing around, trying to get the kids ready and out the door. They drag their heels, because playing with their food is more fun. Chace drips pancake syrup all over his clean socks. I notice I have pancake batter all over the front of my work shirt. Finally, at 7:56, I get the kids out the door and in the car. School starts at 8:00, and Chace's bus comes at 8:03. There is no way in hell I am going to be able to take the bus in. I get to spend $12 on parking today!

Despite telling Kassie 4 times, she forgot to grab her backpack. So I drop Lexa off at school, and pull out of the school parking lot to see Chace's bus pull away from the curb and drive down the street. We drive home, I finish grabbing all my stuff for work, Kassie gets her backpack and we all head back out the door.

I drop Kassie off at school again. I drive Chace to his school and remind him that if he doesn't do his School Skills assignments, he has no TV or computer tonight. I didn't have time to make my coffee, so I get to spend $4 on my morning coffee so I can make it through my day. I got very little sleep last night - but that is a whole other story.

And traffic sucked. Seattle road work is a nightmare. It took me just as long to drive in as it does to take the bus. And I have to skip lunch at work today so I can come home early and take the kids to taekwondo tonight. So I get to slurp down a cup-o-noodles to hold me over until tonight.

And most of this sucky crap could have been avoided if The Murg had rolled his butt over when I first was getting up to tell me "I think I am sick. Can you get the kids to school?" But NO. He had to wait until I had already started making pancakes, eggs and bacon for breakfast.

Here she is. So I sucked at getting a photo of her every Friday for her first year. But once she hit about 50 lbs, all her photos started looking pretty much the same. If I were less honest, I could have just posted any old photo of her and nobody (but me) would have known the difference.

But I thought she was too cute here. Not only is she cuddling her squeaky giraffe, but she is snoring. Her regular spot is under my chair while I work every day. She makes a great foot rest, and she gets near constant foot-petting. So it's a win-win thing for us.