midgeling: life in a shoe.

My phone did not arrive. It is currently on a delivery truck somewhere. So at least it should be here soon.

Enter the Black Dog: The new year isn't going quite as well as I had hoped so far. Like yesterday, for example. I arrived back home after dropping HK off at school to find that I had to turn off 9 lights that people failed to turn off before leaving. NINE. From the upstairs attic room (my bedroom) to the basement. Then came work. And it wouldn't stop. I am still dealing with asthma and congestion issues, but in an effort to save my crappy immune system, I have gone off my asthma inhalers. I mean, I have had some virus or another since the end of September. I get a 2-3 day break in there on occasion, but I am SICK of being sick! Oh, and I am still not done with all my Christmas knitting.

And today I slept through my alarm for 2 hours. I let HK stay home from school because I had to drive Mr Midgeling to work. His motorcycle had a flat tire and he was going to be late for a meeting with Bob-the-New-Boss-of-First-Impressions. I am not impressed by that man (Bob, not the mister. But actually, I haven't been to impressed with the mister lately either, lol!). He is a dolt. So the middle 2 kids have late start school at 10:30 on Fridays. But they were 10 minutes late anyway.

I am having insomnia issues. I frequently get to greet 3 am in a completely conscious state. I have been feeling restless and irritable. My concentration and motivation is shot. If I had my choice, I would stay up all night knitting and listening to my iPod and sleep all day. I am having a hard time resisting the urge to buy stuff. I seriously want to renew a couple of sock clubs, but I can't. I have to save that money for the new house that will hopefully be entering our lives in the next 6 months or so.

My former boss still manages to be like wet sand in my underwear, even though I don't report to him anymore. Well, I suppose he is like wet sand because I don't report to him anymore. I don't even want to work anymore because my place of employment is dysfunctional (as is everywhere) and preally pretty hostile. I report to a new woman now, so hopfully that will go well. I have known her for years, though I didn't work with her much, but I have never had issues or anything negative go on with her.

My friend Chris asked me today what I have been doing to try to cope with these feelings and problems I have had lately. Here's an excerpt from our conversation:

Chris says (11:39 AM):so what have you tried to do differently to break the funk?
midgeling says (11:40 AM):
um, leaving my purse in the car so I cant shop online, lol
midgeling says (11:40 AM):
And I upped my meds by a half a pill
midgeling says (11:41 AM):
trying to be positive. think positive and plan things out. more structure makes for less opportunity to start spinning out of control. it's hard sometimes. sometimes I just want to sleep and quit trying to be level-headed
midgeling says (11:41 AM):but i know I cant

So there. I know it will get better. It just takes time and effort. But it is still a struggle some days. But on the more positive side:

More Christmas knitting. I'm on the second sock. It's plain rib, but I need to get stuff done fast. I will make it up to teh recipient by making another fancier pair when I get a moment.