Happy April, Happy Chace
Happy Autism Awareness Month! Heheh. Now if that isn't a loaded statement. I have an autistic son who will be ten on the 12th of this month. He has Asperger's, to be exact. When I have delt with people concerning this "condition", I get a variety of reactions. Some are actually pissed, miffed, etc. that people observe this kind of "awareness month" with yellow ribbons and bumper stickers. Some are pissed at almost all of the characterizations parents of autistic children make about how autism is a "cruel disease" (is it even a disease? or more like a condition?). Some people even deny that Asperger's is real, or that it should be classified as one of the Autism Spectrum Disorders. Don't get me started on the visit with the pediatrician that took over when our old pediatrician (Dr Melvin Morse) retired from practice.
I tend to not really like people calling it a"disease" or a "disorder". My son is not diseased, but he is rather disordered. You should see the mess that is his room. After a year of hard work in occupationaol therapy, Chace for the most part seems like a normal boy with a few eccentricities. Okay, maybe several eccentricities. But they are part of his charm. They make up part of his sweetness and innocence.
Chace is sometimes slow when it comes to understanding jokes, sarcasm or metaphors. He can at times be friggin brilliant when he talks to you about string theory, black holes, DNA mutation or Legos. He is the sweetest boy you will ever meet. He loves babies and toddlers. And not so strangely, they really love him too.
I have had people ask me some rather strange and interesting questions. Most have had to do with people not believing that he is my son by birth. He pretty much looks like a dark haired white boy while I am really, obviously asian. But if you stand him next to his sisters, people can see the asian features in him a bit better. But a couple of times I have gotten questions like "If you could , would you go back in time and make him 'normal'?" or "Have you ever considered trying for another boy so you could have a 'normal' son?"
While these questions didn't offend me or make me angry, they made me think. The answer is NO. I love him the way he is. I love his quirks. I love that he sees the world differently. (Aren't the most innovative engineers and scientists people who are able to approach a subject from a different point of view?) He makes me think about things differently and he is always teaching me new things. We have some of the nerdiest conversations, and I love every minute of them. And I don't ever wish for a "normal" son. All I know is Chace and I am quite happy with him. Sometimes I wish we could have another boy, but that is because for more years than I can remember, he has been asking for a baby brother.
I try to teach Chace that Asperger's isn't a disorder or a disease or a problem. To him, Asperger's just means that he is smarter and thinks a bit differently than the average person. His brain is so high-powered, it has a hard time slowing down or turning off. His brain tries to pay attention to every detail of every thing going on in the room. That is why he gets overloaded and prefers quiet more than most kids. He is mostly okay with Asperger's now. The last time Michael the Bully tried to tease him and tell him that he was stupid, Chace just laughed at him and said "No, I'm not. You are just jealous that I am so much smarter than you."
I can't even express how proud of him I was that day.
