midgeling: life in a shoe.

Brief history: I was sick almost all of December. I was sick for a couple of weeks in January, and now in February, I had the case of Strep Infection From Hell. This is my last day on antibiotics, but I still have sinus headaches and an occasional earache/gooey ear. I am tired. Still tired. I still need naps every couple of days to make it through the week. I am worn out and feeling ragged.

Concession A: I will not make all Dozen Days in January. I still have a couple of the photos I took, but never was able to write an entry about and post. It was fun. I tried. I did what I could, but the timing was just really bad for me. EDIT: As weebug has pointed out to me, I misread the stupid Dozen Days thing. I don't need to do a Dozen Pics per month for every friggin month. Just one or more every month, lol. You ever have those "Duh, I be stoopid" periods? Yup - I am suffering from that right now. I will go sit in back in the corner now. *sigh*

Concession B: I hate my job. I hate the hospital I work for. I hate the department I work for. I have hated it for years, but for the time being, I am stuck and have to try to make the best of it until I can get out and make some changes.

Concession C: My house is a mess. In every sense of the word Mess. Cluttered, dirty, falling apart and in need of repairs, etc. And Someone needs to take care of all that. And by Someone, I mean Me. That is my Duty. I am the Domestic Goddess, so I need to oversee it all. My motivation here? My kids deserve better. I deserve better. It sucks that I must oversee and conquer it alone in the leadership department, but that is just how it is. I need to do the best I can.

Concession D: People are going to make fun of me because of my faith. Even people I love and care for. It doesn't matter that my church teaches love and tolerance because we are all God's children. I don't hate other faiths, other ethnicities, gay people, or handicapped people. I try not to be judgemental, but i know that I struggle with that one sometimes because I am human, after all. But I try. But I believe what I believe and I have many reasons for it. But it still hurts when people twist what for me is love, hope and acceptance (despite my many flaws) and turn it into something ugly and call me a hypocrite. I hate it when people use God as a Punishment. It hurts. It makes me cry. It makes me not want to trust even those people I am supposed to be close to.

Now that I have that out of my system and out of the way, I need to remember that I still have hope. Even if I keep getting sick because I am wearing myself out, I will still pick my ass up and trudge on. I may not always be happy about it and I may whine about it along the way, but I will still move on. It has to get better for me.

I am going to post my photos later of the socks I finished and sent off to my mom. That makes another pair for the L&V Sock Marathon! Woot!

"The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started."
- Norman Cousins