midgeling: life in a shoe.

It is snowing again. We are in the middle of another storm. There's not near as much snow this time as we got last month, but it is prettier now. Even though it is so pretty out, I am feeling a bit melancholy tonight. I had to go into work today. As I was leaving to go have lunch for a co-worker's birthday, I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a while. I can't remember his name, but he is the father of a little girl that I love so much.

Her name is Mariah. She is a sweet blonde haired, blue eyed 5 year old. Mariah went to preschool with Kassie and Lexa a while back. Her dad is a single parent who works hard, but still has to depend on welfare to provide for his 2 kids. Mariah's mother is an unknown to me - she has a substance abuse problem and is no longer in her children's lives. When I would drop off and pick up my girls, I would always spend a little time with Mariah, even if only long enough to get some quick hugs and kisses. Even after I stopped sending my girls to that school, I would often drop by to bring snacks or treats and spend time with Mariah while Harley and Chace were next door taking their taekwondo classes. One day she hugged and kissed me as she sat in my lap, smiled a beautiful smile at me and said "I wish you were my mommy and I could live with you." I got teary eyed and said that I would love that, but that she had a daddy that loved her and would miss her so much if she were gone. And it was all the honest truth.

As I stopped this man in the hospital doorway today, I told him who I was and asked about Mariah. He told me that she was currently in foster care because he had been hospitalized for almost a month with some kind of spinal infection. He had no one to care for his kids. He said they were doing well and going to school in Tacoma. I was stunned and somewhat speechless. I told Mariah's daddy that I was glad to see that he was better and I would keep them all in my prayers.

But there is this sick ache in my heart and in my stomach that hurts for her. She has gone through so much in her 5 short years of life. I wish I could be the one to provide her with a stable home and a ton of love. I honestly have no idea why I became so attached to her 2 years ago. Sometimes in life there are people you have an unexplainable bond with. I know that somehow we are connected but I don't know how. I just pray that her father can get back on his feet and get his family back. I pray that no matter what happens, Mariah is able to live a happy life.