midgeling: life in a shoe.

Okay, if you can't handle some seriously non-Christian thoughts and language - stop reading right here.

Yeah. One of those days. Actually, it all started much before today. It's like I was telling Nathan earlier, I keep chanting to myself "It's just a little thing... it will pass... forget about it... things will get better."

Well, I am sick as fuck of saying that to myself. It hasn't gotten better. So I have a few things to get off my chest.

1. Jennifer. I know that you and your mother knowingly wrote me bad checks. You lied to me. You did it to get more drugs. Your mother knew about it but she's too afraid of your crazy ass to admit that she knew it to your brother and sister. So I get screwed. No, I know I will never get that money back. I just hope your crack-addicted ass rots in jail for the assault and fraud charges. I hope you never get your kids back because you don't deserve them. They are doing much better with their loser father. At least he isn't doing crack in front of them and his sister makes sure they get to school. You are one of that 8% of women who won't even pull it together for their kids. They don't even rate that high in your sorry life. They were the only good thing that ever came out of your waste of an existence. And you fucked them over in a way that no child deserves.

2. To the asshole guy in the red Volvo. I couldn't fucking turn left because of the oncoming traffic. I realize that I got to the stop sign before you, but the other people driving east and turning south had no damn stop sign. That is why I did not take my turn before you. I didn't want to get plowed into by 30 cars with the right of way. So you can go fuck yourself. Repeatedly.

3. To the woo-woo spirit guy that keeps showing up at my bedside in the middle of the night: Please say something or leave me the hell alone. You are seriously freaking out my husband and making me think that I might be finally losing it for real. I need some sleep. I really need sleep. If you won't tell me what you want, then I can't help you. And if it is about helping your damn daughter, I don't really know if I want to help. She doesn't want help and I don't have more time and energy to waste.

4. To the half-wit people at Sam's Club. Please. Is it so hard to write down the correct date? And if I am not the one who fucked things up in the first place, please spare me the look and the lecture. Go give it to your intellectually challenged coworker. And no, just because I took the sample you offered, that does not mean I am obligated to buy. Okay, so you only have 10 cases left. Thanks for the update. No - I do not need to tell you where I plan on going after I leave the store. That is none of your damn business.

5. To the man that I will not name: You are not funny. No wonder your daughter has issues. You needlessly made fun of me. I know you don't like me. I don't really like you either, but I am friends with your wife. We have friends in common. I am trying to keep the peace. Back off and I will stay civil.

6. To the bored woman in Finance: Yes, the numbers for CT for the fiscal year are off. Volumes were down for a couple of months, and higher in a couple of other normally low months. There are probably other factors, like new equipment, new clinic referrals that we didn't have before and maybe some other weirdnesses. This was all explained to you a couple of months ago. I just spent my entire damn day (and will probably continue tomorrow) to put together the rest of my comparison report with pretty charts and graphs and stuff so that you can see that there are reasons that things aren't always as you expect them to be. Verbal explainations were obviously not enough. Go pick on some other department that doesn't have to deal with $14 million a month.

7. To Rem and Wonderful: Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for reminding me that things get tough but we will all get through them together. Thank you for loving me even though I get cranky and sullen. I love you. Thanks for making sure I go to church when I need to.